


Extra Strong Vodka

by FaustianDevil



Category: Syberia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaustianDevil/pseuds/FaustianDevil
Summary: Kate gets drunk and hits on a handsome mustached automaton.Hilarity ensues.





	Extra Strong Vodka

**Author's Note:**

> Baby's first fanfic... or jokefic to be more precise. Don't take this seriously at all.  
> Also this was done by the guy who makes the Incorrect Syberia quotes (which you should check out if you haven't already), so that about gives a clear image on how serious this is.
> 
> Hey if you like my work go and give it some kudos or comments, would really appreciate it.

Kate Walker was tossing and turning, yet sleep did not come to her. Her thoughts seemed to be all over the place ever since finding the youkol temple, making her only be able to long for the sleep that didn’t seem to come to her tired eyes. She sat up with a groan and got out of the yurt, no point in staying in bed when you can’t even sleep.

\- I thought you were going to sleep, Kate Walker.  
\- I am. … Was. … It’s just easier said than done. … Have you never had trouble falling asleep despite being tired?

It took her a good minute to realize who she was talking to.

\- Right. Forget it. That was stupid of me.  
\- Indeed it was, Kate Walker.  
\- Ah! You know you don’t have to agree with me on everything, my dear Oscar.

She stayed around and took in the cold Russian air for a bit before leaving the automaton’s side.  
\- I’ll go take a walk to see if that helps.  
\- Understood. I’ll be here if you need me, Kate Walker.  
\- Alright, Oscar.

\---

Night was about to end and the first rays of morning sun were already creeping its way over the Russian landscape, yet Kate Walker was still nowhere to be found from her walk. The automaton was getting worried and imagining the worst possible scenarios in his head before he finally spotted the woman staggering back to the yurt and he rushed over to her side.

\- Kate Walker just where have you been! I was worried sick, it’s nearly morning and you haven’t slept for 2 days, I thought you might’ve passed out from exhaustion! Or worse!

The woman just giggled at him tapping his exposed metallic chest absent mindedly.

\- Relax, Oscar I just had a few drinks with Madame Ayawaska.  
\- That can’t be any good! From the shaman I can tolerate heavy alcohol consumption, but not from you Kate Walker! You are better than that!  
\- Oh calm down already, Mr. Stickler-for-the-rules, and I only had just a little hehe.  
\- How much is a little?  
\- Oh I dunno. Half a bottle. … Maybe a bit more.  
\- That’s not a little!  
\- Well not everyone can be as perfect as you, handsome metal man hehe. … Have I told you how much I like your mustache? Because I do. Like a lot hehe.  
\- I … um … I appreciate the compliment, Kate Walker, but it’s about time you take some rest.  
\- Why should I? The night is still young!  
\- It’s already morning, Kate Walker.  
\- Oh. … Well I still refuse! I’m gonna seize the day!  
\- Then you leave me no choice, but to use force, Kate Walker.  
\- What?

Before she could even fight back he picked her up as if she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

\- Woah! Someone’s been working out hehe!  
\- Kate Walker, please.

He took her back to the yurt and was about to place her down onto the bed, but the woman wrapped her arms around his neck even tighter refusing to let go of him.

\- Kate Walker, please at this rate I fear the worse for your physical health. You can’t go on like this.  
\- No!  
\- Now you’re just acting like a child.  
\- Am not!  
\- I would rather not start a fight with you on that. … But you are.

The woman pouted her lips and stared at the automaton and let out a stretched out “fine” in defeat.

\- But only on one condition.  
\- Which is?

Kate Walker leaned closer to the automaton’s face and as soon as he realized what she was about to do he tumbled backwards and both of them fell. Oscar quickly started crawling backwards while the woman still clung to his neck until he hit the wall of the yurt.

\- K-kate Walker just what are you doing?  
\- You know exactly what I was going to do. Do you honestly think you can walk around exposing that strong mechanical musculature torso without turning a few heads?

At that he tried to cover himself a bit more with his jacket and looked away from her.

\- I-I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kate Walker.

She forced him to look at him again.

\- Oh shut up and kiss me already, handsome metal man!

And with that her lips met with his metallic ones. The kiss was short lived and of course far from the perfect Hollywood ones one would see in a movie. She pulled away and looked up at him.

\- Why didn’t you kiss me back, Oscar?  
\- Kate Walker, is it not obvious that I lack the functionality to do so?  
\- Oh …

She was saddened by his words and buried her face in his chest.

\- Kate Walker! What are you … … … Kate Walker?

She didn’t respond, so he shook her a bit, but she had already happily drifted off to Dreamland. He sighed and took her over to the bed, he was about to leave when the woman grabbed onto his jacket pulling him back. He looked back at her and decided to stay, no point in doing otherwise, even in her sleep she’s as stubborn as ever.

\---  
Mr. Borouth ran frantically to MissKateWalk’s yurt and without knocking burst right in.

\- MissKateWalk! MissKateWalk! Come quick! The bridge! The sacred bridge is! … … … Ah! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! So sorry!

The woman hardly even had time to process what he was saying he was gone before she could even ask anything. Despite being woken up with some incoherent warnings of some bridge up ahead she still decided to lie back down for a few minutes, that may get the pounding out of her head and as she did she hit her head on something hard and metallic, which really didn’t help with her headache.

\- Are you alright, Kate Walker?

Shocked, Kate Walker moved her head slowly to look over to her side and saw Oscar lying next to her. She didn’t even need a second to jolt up and scream.

\- Oscar! What are you doing here?  
\- But, Kate Walker have you already forgotten that you asked me to stay?  
\- I didn’t!  
\- Oh, but you did. You said yourself and I quote “I have trouble sleeping, my dear Oscar and would feel better if you would stay by my side tonight.” and so I did.

The woman was now redder than the old Soviet state.

\- Really? … … … And nothing else happened, right?

The automaton looked away from her and made a few humming sounds.

\- Oscar?

She begged him for a response.

\- No, nothing. You did kick me a few times in your sleep, Kate Walker and occasionally mumbled something I did not understand, but that is all.

She sighed in relief and he left her alone to get ready for the day. She really needed that few minutes of privacy to gather her thoughts that seemed to be all over the place again, but mainly focusing on one handsome metal man.


End file.
